Jaffe Morning Briefing: July 22, 2014


PRINCETON – Treating a monkey like a bowling ball may be hilarious in the cartoons, but certainly not in the distinguished halls of Princeton University. PETA is aghast, like usual. This time, the issue surrounds an email sent by a university psychology professor, blasting lab staff and graduate students for putting a monkey in a plastic ball and rolling it down the hallways. The professor, reports the Trenton Times, says those responsible lacked “common sense, sense of decency or leadership.” But they certainly had a ball.

TRENTON – It is interesting to see what wisdom Charles Steindel will impart to his future students at Ramapo College, after resigning as the state’s chief economist to become a “resident scholar.” Steindel offered up three straight years of optimistic revenue projections for the state budget, prompting six New Jersey credit downgrades, Bloomberg reports. Steindel’s revenue projections missed the mark by a net $3.5 billion, creating very small shoes for the next chief economist to fill.

CLIFTON – After three years of resident complaints, the man with the stinky printing press is finally pulling the plug, the Record reports. Following embarrassing press reports yesterday about KM Media Group in Clifton – which insisted on running the faulty press with a busted catalytic converter amid neighbor complaints of noxious fumes – the owner has finally agreed to turn the damn thing off. Seems the right thing to do, if it didn’t require intervention from local politicians and scrutiny from the media.

ATLANTIC CITY – There is an incredible story to tell about how two armed masked bandits were able to rob Caesars yesterday of more than $180,000. But it is a story that will likely be short on details for the public, as the State Police Casino Gaming Bureau will be quietly trying to figure out how these brazen suspects were able to flee the casino with $180,000 in two plastic cash boxes. The Press of AC says the police have clamped down on information, but we’d sure like to know how they did it.

MONTCLAIR – It is “Tourism Tuesday” once again in New Jersey, and that must mean Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno is off on some important visits to places that make the state great. Today, you will find her at the Yogi Berra Museum and Learning Center at Montclair State University, before she swings over to the United States Golf Association Museum in Far Hills. Get out your cameras and your maps and have yourself a great Tourism Tuesday!


CORNWALL, ENGLAND – Many know Cornwall for the fascinating tin mine that attracts literally dozens of tourists each year. But a close second must be the Lego hunters, who visit the shores in search of the toy pieces that wash up daily. There’s not much mystery to it. On Feb. 13, 1997, a ship containing nearly 5 million pieces spilled the contents when a huge wave crashed against the hull. Ever since, the sport in Cornwall is to collect whatever finds itself to shore. Maybe Lt. Gov. Guadagno will stop by for “Tourism Tuesday.”

IN THE SLAMMER – Even the super obese deserve a prison jumpsuit. That’s what some are telling the NY Post, after a 480-pound inmate hit rock bottom, forced to wear bed sheets because Rikers Island does not carry a XXXXXX-L jumpsuit. The man, in prison on arson charges, did have his own wardrobe, but it was stolen when he was taken to the hospital for a couple of days – likely for attacking a double bacon cheeseburger.


It was one year ago today that scientists learned that dolphins have unique names for one another, just like people. Hard to imagine how that works. Perhaps one dolphin looks at another and suddenly squeals, “I decree you to be Flipper!” The other then responds, “And I shall call you Echo!” Or something like that.

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