You whisper lies disguised like sweet nothings in my ear,
filling my head with a list of inadequacies all the while, charismatically drawing me near.
Reminding me the most recent years of heartache and pain,
Telling me not to push forward, bc I have nothing left to gain.
I pretend to be strong and carry the weight of the world on my back,
You sit and watch, planning your next strategic attack.
I welcome vulnerability and open my heart,
you lurk in the shadows waiting for a chance to tear me apart.
“It will be different this time, just give it a try.”
I fall prey to your lures and I am met, once again, by your lies.
A glutton for punishment, I dive in head first.
The consequence, of my relentless pursuit, continue to get worse.
Covered in shame and guilt,
You chuckle behind the scenes as I destroy the new life I’ve, yet again, built.
I build it up, only for you to relish in watching it fall.
As the rush wears off, my Goliath confidences leaves me, and again I’m left feeling so small.
I've been here before, there's only one way out.
Removing all fear and eliminating all doubt.
Fearlessly, I run for the Light,
As we both know, this is only the beginning of my fight.
My compulsive obsession has me shackled in chains,
But this time, freedom and a glimmer of hope still remains.
I valiantly claim what's rightfully mine,
Declining your complacency and leaving my old life behind.
the wreckage of my past is gone, I have been revived.
Beauty for ashes, the dead come alive.
Colby Maynard advocates long-term sobriety by writing for websites like paxmemphis.com, providing resources to recovering addicts and shedding light on the disease of addiction. Tricia is a mother of two, actively involved in her local recovery community, and is passionate about helping other women find hope in seemingly hopeless situations.