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Jaffe Morning Briefing: Aug. 6, 2014

8-6-14

JAFFE COMMUNICATIONS GIVES ITS TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

LOWER TOWNSHIP – Call it the Great Snake Escape. The Press of AC reports there is a six-foot red-tailed boa slithering around, after it escaped its aquarium while the owner was cleaning it. The snake was last photographed in a tree, lunching on a sea gull. Wildlife officials say the snake is most active at night. So, sleep tight, Lower Township.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Either there are no other viable Republican candidates for President or voters across the state really like Chris Christie. In any case, a new Quinnipiac University poll has the Governor just eight points down against Hillary Clinton for the White House. Yes, both of these candidates have not yet declared and, yes, 2016, is still a way off. But the Governor is steadily holding his own against what many Democrats consider the closest thing to American royalty: the Clintons.

WAYNE – Maybe it was when Wayne Mazda decided to advertise a car for lease that had been sold 11 months prior. Or maybe it is some other allegation that caused state officials to investigate the car dealership and Wayne Auto Mall Hyundai on Route 23, The Record reports. The state has lodged complaints against the dealerships, claiming some of their used cars had been used as rentals, sustained significant damage – or both. Another trick – advertising cars that were already sold or mysteriously unavailable – has also been alleged. The state is demanding restitution and fines. The dealerships claim innocence, also noting an amazing summer clearance going on TODAY.

BAYONNE – Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have the Bogota Borough Council? The Record reports Councilman Evaristo Burdiez Jr. apparently took a swing at Mayor Tito Jackson during a closed session last night to discuss the budget. Multiple witnesses say it was an open hand slap to the mayor’s head, creating a nice-sized welt. This matter may be settled in Superior Court, although a barbed wire cage match may be more appropriate.

ATLANTIC CITY – If anyone is going to further damage Donald Trump’s reputation, it better only be Donald Trump, dammit. That is the apparent message from The Donald, who wants his name stripped off two casinos – Trump Plaza and the Trump Taj Mahal. In a lawsuit, Trump argues the casinos look awful and they are rusting embarrassments to the Trump brand. He’s correct, but it seems the only way out is for Trump to divest his 10 percent stake and finally flee A.C., with that mysterious dyed mop in tow.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

IN THE AIR – Now that airline passengers accept the premise of paying extra fees for luggage, a Diet Coke and six millimeters of extra cabin space, airlines are jacking fees. The AP reports the average domestic round-trip ticket is now at $509.15, outpacing inflation. Airfare has shot up more than 10 percent in five years, yet – as many passengers would attest – the experience has decreased dramatically. A $300 ticket can now easily balloon to $450, once you check two bags, get early boarding and pay $30 for more legroom. When did flying the skies become so unfriendly?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1675 that Russian Czar Aleksei banned citizens from getting haircuts that made them look like foreigners, like Donald Trump. No clue if citizens were also required to wear bejeweled pointy hats.

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